


I'd need a miracle (to bring me back to you)

by emmisaysmufasa



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fix-It, Gay Bill Denbrough, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmisaysmufasa/pseuds/emmisaysmufasa
Summary: Fixing the It timeline so Reddie at least get a kiss before the end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> :) title from St patrick by pvris

The moment he sees him, the world stops.  
He's thirteen again, awkward and loud, and Eddie's climbing into the hammock with him, and Richie is starting to realise what love is.  
So he does what he always did, back then. He cracks jokes, only now he gets drunk to help with it, joking about Eddie being married to a woman- pretending his chest doesn't suddenly feel like it's been stabbed- he downs another shot, shit talks Eddie's job, even reverts back to mom jokes. He can see Beverly look at him closely, before Mike reveals the reason they're there. Pennywise.  
They hadn't killed him.  
And those dreams Richie hadn't remembered until now?  
Hadn't been dreams.

Later, at the hotel, Richie rushes up to pack his things. He can't do this. Not again.  
He bumped into someone.  
"Shit. Sorry- wait. Eds?"  
Eddie stood before him, still every bit as beautiful as Richie had forgotten, soft and handsome and... home.  
"Hey, Richie."  
Richie feels warmth in his chest, and thinks suddenly, "What the fuck. We're gonna die anyway."  
"Uh hey. Eds listen, d'you maybe wanna get drinks? Before we get out of here for good, I mean. It'd be great to catch up."  
Eddie has a strange look on his face, swallowing. "Maybe we could just talk? Without drinks, I mean."  
"Oh, yeah, sure."  
Fuck! How is Richie going to do this without alcohol?  
He follows Eddie up to the room.  
Eddie sits on the edge of the bed, and Richie has a flashback to middle school.  
"Y'know what this reminds me of, Eds? When I used to crawl in through your window in middle school. We'd listen to shitty music, and everything would feel... okay. Do you remember that?" He looks away as he asks, he can't quite meet Eddie's eyes. He's too scared of what his own might tell him.  
"Of course I do, Rich."  
Eddie's voice is soft, and Richie suddenly feels everything fall back into place.  
How Eddie would hug him when he couldn't sleep, after nightmares of Pennywise, never asking what was wrong, because he knew all too well himself.  
How being near Eddie felt intoxicating, overwhelming and addictive and undeniable.  
"Eds. Can I ask you something?"  
Eddie looks up as Richie sits next to him on the bed, looking at his shoes.  
"Anything, Rich."  
Eddie hasn't spoken to him like this since they'd last been alone. 23 years ago. How close Richie had almost come to letting everything go that night. How close he felt again, now.  
"Uh. Your wife. Is she uh."  
"What, Richie?" Eddie sounds slightly annoyed now, defensive, Richie thinks.  
"Just um. A lot has been coming back since the restaurant. You know?"  
Eddie nods, frowning a little, clearly wondering where Richie was going with this.  
"I just wondered if you remembered... what you told me."  
"What did I tell you, Rich?" Eddie's voice is quieter now, and Richie can tell his heartbeat was picking up, he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Eddie. Are you-

Okay?" The words snap Eddie out of his anxious silence.  
"Um, yeah. I'm okay."  
Richie and Eddie are 16, and they're doing homework in Eddie's room, as is the standard for Thursday afternoons.  
Richie moves up from his position, lying on his front, and frowns a little, adjusting his glasses.  
"You sure? You've been real quiet today, Spaghetti. Unlike your mom when I was-"  
"Shut up, Richie."  
He says it in a way that makes Richie stop and look at him properly again.  
"Seriously, Eds. Whatever's up, you can tell me." He's trying to speak softly, something that only seems to happen when he talks to Eddie. He tries not to think too much about what that means.  
"It's just..."  
"Just what? It's okay," Richie says, eyes widening as he realises the smaller boy is crying.  
"Eds? Eds, what's up?"  
He touches Eddie's arm softly, and Eddie nearly jerks away violently.  
"Whoa. Okay, Eds. You're okay." He keeps talking in what he hopes is a soothing tone, until Eddie's calmer. Quieter, at least.  
"I think I'm gay."  
Richie feels his heart flutter, but realises this isn't the moment to think about that.  
"Pennywise... he... he knew. He knew, Rich, and he used it to hurt me. He told me I was d-dirty..."  
Richie closes his eyes and hears the clown's words.  
"Don't touch the other boys, Richie. Don't, or they'll know your secret."  
Eddie's crying again, a little, and Richie snaps out of it to rest a hand on Eddie's arm.  
"Eds. Hey, Eds. Eds Spagheds. Look at me. It's okay." Richie puts his arms around Eddie, because it feels like the right thing to do, and he doesn't leave that night until he's sure Eddie feels better. He's not sure why he doesn't tell him, then. He never will be.  
He goes to his bathroom, and looks in the mirror. He looks at his ugly four-eyes, his light acne, his trash mouth, his lips-

Are suddenly on Eddie's, and the world crashes down around him. He pulls him closer, kissing him like he wanted to that night when they were 16, every night that he knew him. The kiss grows deeper, and Eddie's hands are making their way up Richie's shirt, and he swears he's never felt like this before, with-  
"Shit. Sorry."  
They break apart to see Bev standing in the doorway.  
"Fuck," Richie thinks, "why didn't we close the fucking door?"


	2. Chapter 2

The world is dark and fuzzy when he opens his eyes.  
He can faintly make out the surroundings of a hospital, familiar to him now, and then Richie's face, Beverly close by, anxious look on her face, but before Eddie Kaspbrak can decipher the look on Richie's, he falls back under the darkness. 

"Mr Kaspbrak?" A nurse is saying his name when he wakes up again, and all he can do is nod faintly before he vomits into the bucket being held under his chin. He looks up and realises, faintly, that Richie is holding onto his hands, tightly, and Beverly is gone now, but Mike sits in the spare chair.   
"Wh-what happened?" He manages to mumble, and Richie's grip tightens.  
Mike speaks up.   
"We were in Neibolt, remember? And then you fell onto the spike, and..."  
Eddie searches his memory. He remembers thinking he'd defeated It, for real, and leaning over Richie, heart racing in excitement, in pride, until he felt the sudden stab through his chest. He remembers Richie sobbing, screaming, he remembers faintly hearing the other losers yelling at Pennywise, making him small. He remembers Richie's voice, close, then Beverly's, then nothing. He looks up into Richie's eyes, searching.   
"It's really a miracle you survived, Mr Kaspbrak."  
Once the nurse leaves the room again, Eddie looks over to Mike.  
"Okay, what happened? Really happened?"  
"How much do you remember?"  
Eddie tells them how much he can.  
"Okay, that's good. Okay. Eddie, we killed It. For real. It's dead."  
Eddie feels something spread through his body, stronger than relief. It's over.  
"We thought you were dead, Eds, but Richie..."  
"Richie saved me."  
"He dragged you out with him. He refused to let go. He would have stayed with you, as Neibolt crumbled, would have..."  
Eddie feels tears spring to his eyes and turns to Richie, angry.  
"You asshole. Don't ever do that again."  
"Wha-" Richie sputters out.  
"Never put your life in danger for me, Rich. Promise me. Never."  
Richie is crying again now, stroking Eddie's fingers with his, and Mike takes this as his cue to leave.   
"I'll go get you some coffee, Rich."  
Richie nods, not taking his eyes off Eddie's, as if worried that he might disappear, fade away. It's the way only ever Richie has ever looked at him. It's the way he only wants Richie to look at him.   
"You fucking dipshit," Eddie says softly, intertwining his fingers with Richie.   
"I'm sorry Eds. I just... I had to get you out. I had to be able to tell you. I had to..."  
He's looking frustrated, eyes on the bed now, unable to meet Eddie's.   
"I love you, Richie."  
Richie's eyes snap up to Eddie's in shock, widening.  
"You- what?"  
"I think I've always loved you. Since we were thirteen in that hammock. Hell, before then, even."  
"Why... why did you never..."  
"Why did you never?" Eddie counters softly, smiling when he sees Richie redden a little.   
"I never thought you'd feel the same. And until you told me when we were seventeen, I always assumed you were straight."  
"Well fuck, me too, Rich. All those mom jokes, talking about fucking girls."  
"I couldn't let anybody know," Richie says quietly, his fingers dancing over Eddie's a little, thoughtless intimacy. Just like when they were young. "I never told anyone but. Back that summer, after the fight. I was in the arcade, and Bowers..."  
Eddie lets him trail off, knowing Richie will explain it properly when he's ready.  
"God, we were such idiots."  
"Yeah?" Richie chokes out, half a laugh, half a question. Like he's still scared this might not be real.  
"I could have kissed you so much sooner," Eddie says, his eyes trailing down to sit on Richie's lips.  
"Do you- do you want me to-"  
"Just fucking kiss me, moron," Eddie nearly laughs, and Richie laughs too, before leaning in, moving his hand to caress Eddie's face.   
And he does.

After Eddie's divorce, time moves differently. He and Richie move in together in California, and Mike stays with them a week while traveling, and Eddie can't help but notice he makes a lot of phone calls to Bill at night. Bill, who's apparently in the middle of his own divorce.   
Ben and Beverly got the fuck out of Derry too, adopted a dog, and Bev would weeks later casually mention that she was bisexual, when on facetime with the rest of the losers. Mike's response was, "Same here!" and Bill flushed a little. Richie felt slight shame that he ever thought these people, HIS people, would hate him.  
Richie came out during a show, casually mentioning his new fiancé, who watched from the front row, hiding his face in his hands and blushing through most of the act, and while he lost fans, he also gained new ones, and got lots of letters from gay fans, young and old, that made him glad he made the decision he did.   
On the anniversary of their return to Derry, the losers returned not to Derry, but to Patty Uris' home. They all sat around the table and laughed, and cried, and the losers told Patty about Stan as a kid, and she told them about Stan as an adult. It simultaneously hurt, while healing, which each of the losers were slowly learning was what happened.   
Bill and Mike eventually got together, and moved into a new place, not too far from California, where both Richie and Eddie and also Ben and Beverly now lived.   
At night, Eddie would wake up from a nightmare, or Richie, and the other would hold him until he stopped shaking. Some things took a very long time to heal. But eventually they all did, or at least began to, and Eddie and Richie looked forward to the rest of their long, slightly damaged, and very happy lives together.


End file.
